There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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