Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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