I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
