weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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