Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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