just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
