Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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