Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
