Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
