I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
