And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
