Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
God I need to hump something, right now.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
