apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
