I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
