In the future we'll all be gay
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
