So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
