Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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