Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
