Who wears a wallet chain?!
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize