Who did Billy Mays play for?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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