theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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