its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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