Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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