My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
