So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize