Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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