i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize