So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
