Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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