i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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