I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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