if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
