Christians are straight up FREAKS
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
