..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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