It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
