ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
