what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
