WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize