We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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