is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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