What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
