babies were throwing up all over the place
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
