We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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