Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
