i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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