That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize