Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
