I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
