Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
