I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Just cropdusted the office
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
