Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i dont even know how to be here
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
