with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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