She is in my trunk
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
