i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize