Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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