You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize