what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
