everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
