Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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