HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
