I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Randomize
