I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
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