I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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