2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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