Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
