bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
