he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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