google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
