i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
