Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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