why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Randomize
