I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
