I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
