Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
