I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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