Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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