Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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