Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
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