My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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