What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
