Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
