dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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