Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
