Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
