You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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