Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I think i peed on brittanys purse
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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